Ughhhhhh I don't know you guys… if Birchbox wants me to subscribe again next year they really need to step up their game. It kills me to say that because I used to look forward to my boxes each month (though admittedly I still love the concept and their rewards/points program) but as of late they've been seeming like more of an afterthought.
Heck, it even seemed like the girls at Birchbox were less than excited about this month's box; their usual greeting side of the card is packed to the edges with text but this one barely even took up a third of the space. Happy holidays, huh? Which is exactly why I was a little more bothered by this box that I normally would be. If this were any other month I'd probably think it was a decent spread but, considering December is the month of festivities and giving, I felt this box was sorely lacking. Nothing had to do with the holidays when that could have been easily done: throw some tinsel in the box, make the treat peppermint flavored (I mean seriously… a fortune cookie? What in the actual f*ck???), include one of your usual little blue boxes inside of the box but have a ribbon around it like a gift, etc.
WANNA HIRE ME BIRCHBOX?
Seriously, I don't even have a degree in marketing but I could have done leaps and bounds beyond what your current staff did.
Rant aside ('tis the season, amiright? Working in customer service all my life I can give you the answer: I'm right), let's take a closer look at the contents of my Birchbox this month shall we?
I was super confused as to what this was at first and, upon figuring out, I thought it was an alright little gift. My phone doesn't really have problems with getting dirty (and if it does, then wiping it off on my shirt real quick does the trick) but I might stick this on my camera to spot clean the lens if I deem it soft enough.
Getting a body lotion is usually less than thrilling but, since Winter is finally becoming a thing (I can't wait until the snow starts to finally stick to the ground!), it's always good to have a travel size lotion to throw into your bag. Not to mention the smell of this stuff is DIVINE. If you've ever smelt the fresh Sugar Lip Treatments or the fresh Brown Sugar EDP then you can get a good idea of what this smells like (just imagine it with a bit more of a lemon tartness to it). For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of dousing yourself in fresh goodness, just imagine a creamy, sugary, lemon concoction most likely sprayed by the gallon at the gates of heaven; it's one of those smells that makes you feel like you've cheated on a diet even though you haven't ingested carbs or sugar in weeks.
Another product that would be sure to send any health freaks into anaphylactic shock is this oh-mah-gah-is-this-edible-because-even-if-it-isn't-I-might-eat-it-anyways body scrub. At least I'm assuming it's a body scrub because the card really didn't specify but it seems far too harsh to use on the face, not to mention dangerous because if it's that near my mouth I might 'accidentally' lick my lips/fingers/the jar… haha you think I'm kidding.
I was a little skeeved out by the packaging, I'll be honest; the little jar wasn't labeled so for all I knew there were boogers in there and the 'safety seal' popped off when the lid screwed off. If I weren't the pretty much exact opposite of a germaphobe (I mean don't get me wrong, if you poo on my hand then I'm going to wash it off but I don't feel the need to use hand sanitizer after I tie my shoes) then I probably wouldn't be able to use this but I'm not too bothered. I'll probably be using this on my elbows and knees to get that extra dry skin off!
Seeing this bottle from Number 4 was exciting for me since looooooong ago I received a detangling spray from the brand and ended up falling in love with it. This has the exact same watered-down-mixed-alcoholic-beverage-with-a-hint-of-yuck smell that the other Number 4 product had but I was able to get over it then so I know I'll be able to handle it again. I spritzed some of this in my hair today and I must say, as of right now, I'm impressed; the spray is fine and even, the hold is firm without being crunchy, and overall I'm just kind of excited to try out a non aerosol hair spray.
Not sure I have too much to say here… it's a lip gloss in a very generic rosy pink color with subtle shimmer. It's got a much thicker formula upon coming out of the tube but smooths out to a very thin and almost watery texture. The pigmentation looks good against my skin but I've got a feeling it's going to be a MLBB shade once on my lips which I guess is the time that I should mention I might not be able to. Scent-wise, this isn't completely offensive but it's not pleasant either. It's like a weird Play-Doh and mint smell that just doesn't sit right with me but I guess time will tell!
Do I really need to say anything about a chocolate covered fortune cookie? I mean… it's a chocolate covered fortune cookie; it tasted like a chocolate covered fortune cookie. All I really have to ask is: when did fortune cookies become compliment cookies? I miss the days when they actually had fortunes inside.
Alright ladies, that's it for this month!!
I think I've ranted and blabbed enough for one post so I guess I'll leave the rest up to you!
What did you all think of this month's 'festive' Birchbox?
Would you have been as let down as I was?
Did you get anything that actually screamed the holidays in your box this month?
See anything you want to try yourself?
xoxo - Cassie