I don't even know why I bother putting an exclamation point at the end of my Birchbox post titles anymore since I'm far from excited about them. The past few (more?) months have been less than thrilling and the boxes just don't seem to be getting any better. As far as I can tell Birchbox gets this same type of feedback from many of their customers (reading through the comments on their latest sneak peek video has been a treat) so I know it's not just me… which means that this is a company that only cares about the money they're making rather than the happiness of their customers; pretty disgusting if you ask me.
That opening paragraph was thoroughly enticing I'm sure (please note the heavy sarcasm coating that sentence), so let's jump right into this month's box shall we?
Same old card, filled with the typical blah blah blah; read if you'd like but don't expect anything remotely helpful or uplifting therein.
First off we have a hair oil which, truth be told, would be exciting if it wasn't for the stupid rippy crap packet that it's housed in. It'll be a mess if there's enough oil inside to constitute saving it for multiple uses though there's no way of knowing how much oil is actually inside of this cardboard abomination… I know it says "0.1 oz" on the front but whether or not I believe that (because of Birchbox's track record with deceiving sample sizes [just wait for one of the products below to see for yourself]) is completely up in the air. Shenanigans!
Next up we have a bar of soap. Yup… a freaking bar of soap. Most likely an employee at Birchbox nabbed a handful of these for free at a hotel on their most recent excursion to find the best deluxe sized beauty samples in the land (THE SARCASM IN THAT LAST BIT THOUGH, IT'S OVERWHELMING) and then scattered them into poor customer's boxes this month but hey what do I know; I'm merely the victim of something I can only imagine is a joke under the guise of reality. I'd be a little more okay with this soap, I suppose, if I didn't have a cat but since I do I don't really like the thought of leaving a bar of poison laying around for him to lick/devour. Ugh.
As much as I hate getting perfume samples in my Birchboxes (I could literally walk into a Sephora and get one [heck, why stop there, I could get twenty if I asked for them!] myself for free, no questions asked) but I have a great track record with Juicy Couture fragrances (Viva la Juicy, La Fleur, and Couture La La are favorites of mine) so I was excited to give this one a go. Sadly it's just not for me! It's got the 'typical' base notes that Juicy Couture puts into their perfumes but the top and middle notes are far too heavy and cloyingly sweet for me to handle.
Upon first glance this little tube actually looks like a deluxe sample; joy!… except not because the minute you hold it up to the light you can see that it's hardly even half filled with product. Thanks for the tube of deception Birchbox! So sweet of you. Either way I suppose I'm always up for trying out a new highlighter but I think I'm just so mad in general with this box that I can't even appreciate it for the miracle it may end up being. Time will tell I suppose!
And last but not least we have what may be the cutest little bottle of nail polish I ever did see. Seriously, take a second to ignore the horrendous state of my nails (I took my Birchbox rage out on my current polish and picked it to oblivion) and look at how stinking adorable this bottle of O.P.I. Top Coat is. Unfortunately that's where the excitement ends for me because, as much as I love polish and O.P.I., what the h*ll am I going to do with an orange tinted top coat??? How, in any way shape or form, is a sheer wash of orange going to make my nails look anything other than diseased? May as well have made it yellow and called it a day because I can guarantee I will get no use out of this polish, adorable as it may be.
So there you have it folks: this month's box is pretty much the reason why I'm 99% positive I won't be renewing my subscription to Birchbox when the time comes in March. I wish I could be happier about things but I'm no fool and can clearly see when I've been played as such. Bugger!
Are you subscribed to Birchbox?
What did you get in your box this month?
Aren't subscribed to Birchbox?
Is there anything you wish you could have received?
xoxo - Cassie